Beach Bums Bar & Grill
Picture a white, oval platter. On one side stretch out a glistening, mahogany brown half chicken. Watch as two long, thick beef spareribs (also deep red brown) climb in to spoon her from plump breast to tender thigh. Two bowls cuddle; creamed green beans piled with crispy onions; steaming baked beans. When we taste the slow-smoked, top-notch Oklahoma-style barbecue at Beach Bum’s, it’s like watching Wilma Flintstone make food love to Fred. Delicious, guilty pleasure in a setting that — while the Harbor is under construction — might resemble the Stone Age. Smoking meat is a particular art form, one which takes both talent and patience.
Beef ribs are rubbed out with a homemade spice mix before slow-cooking in the smoker. A half day later they emerge with long flanks charred and tender pink insides. They fall off their bone; they’re done. That so-seductive chicken is massaged with spices, wrapped in bacon, and set astraddle an open can of beer. She relaxes in the smoker’s privacy while the liquid gold tenderizes her flesh and her cloak of bacon keeps the juices in. There is no basting in the smokehouse tradition, so meats and sauces are judged as separate arts. Unfortunately, in our judgment neither of the two house barbecue sauces is a winner.
The “spicy” is undistinguished except for a spiky mesquite flavor; the “mild” is sunk with too-sweet guava. (Combined, they make a decent sauce.) All rubs, sauces, and sides are made in house, which we always admire in a tourist area. James, our Southern Boy, finds the comfort of home in the creamy green beans — but he adds a dash of salt. Molly’s Boston roots want mustard added to the baked beans to dial down the sweet flavor — but she loves their tender texture. Fries are commercial shoestrings (but crispy), the mac-n-cheese average, the salads fresh but uninspired. The open-air bar is often packed with rowdy local sports fans, but the service is still happy-touristy for the sunburned visitors dazzled by their Molokini snorkeling.
We can put up with the toothy smiles (“Hey, how was your day? Where are you visiting from??) … … As long as the drinks still come fast and they check in regularly. NB: Our ratings are for the barbecue, not the rest of the menu.
Address: 300 Ma’alaea Rd., Ma’alaea, Central Maui
Location: in the Ma’alaea Harbor Shops on the lower level, facing the harbor
Meals: Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner
Hours: Daily 8am-9pm
Parking: Lot
Phone: 808-243-2286
April 12, 2011 @ 7:04 pm
Just had probably the worst service ever at a restaurant tonite at Beach Bum’s. First I’d like to say that my husband and I arrived in Maui 7 days ago for our honeymoon and we had been going to Beach Bums every night for happy hour. We received awesome service from Lana and Dannie, 2 other servers there. We had someone else tonite who rushed us thru dinner (we were 1/2 way thru our dinner when she gave us the bill and asked if we wanted a box!) and then was very rude to us when we had a $1.50 dispute on the bill at the end. She said she didn’t want to bother with running our credit card again and just threw $2 from her tip bag at us. So I just left her a 15% tip + the 50 cents extra she gave us from the $2. We were really shocked at how rude she was and we just sat at our table talking and digesting our meal (which was good, by the way) and enjoying the view. Next thing we know a man comes up to us and asks ‘can I help you two?’ We assumed this was the manager and he proceeded to get even more rude and aggressive than the waitress. We could not believe they would be so mean over a pitley $1.50. We probably spent $400 or more at this place over the last 7 days. We got up and left very very upset and very very sad that our special time with Beach Bums was ruined by these arrogant and rude people. I’ve never had such horrible service in my life. Very disappointed and I would never go here again nor recommend this place to a friend. They are not the only show in the harbor – there is also Buzz’s Wharf and Seafront Restaurant, which have similar price structures and probably much better service.
January 19, 2013 @ 9:05 pm
I totally agree. We probably had the same waitress. Sad how one person can ruin a restaurant reputation.
When we arrived at 10h15 AM our first encounter was a blond lady who had no idea how to smile. And it only takes 15 facial muscles to do so. Looking grumpy like she did costs much more energy. But the worst is yet to come. I tell her that we have to wait untill 01h00 PM to catch a boat and that we would like to eat and have some drinks till then. I hear her telling this to her colleague, but I payed no special attention to that. After our drinks we get our meal around 11h00 AM and when we’re finished we get a bill around 11h20 AM. I react a little wondered, because I would like to order some more drinks. Then she tells me literally that “It’s to busy to have you guys hanging round till 01h00 PM with just some drinks.” Only 5 tables in the restaurant were occupied! I tell the lady that I am amazed but that I have to accept their policy, but that I would have liked to know this in advance. Then she tells me she did not know that we were going to sit there till 01h00 PM!?! I heard her talking about that to her colleague before!?! I found this so unbelievable and rude that I decided to leave straight away.
I have been teaching ‘Hospitality’ for 10 years now in all kind of industries and I like to use the USA as an example of how good it can be. This however makes me to adjust my opinion a bit, but I reckon it was an exemption to the rule. I’m done with Beach Bums, even though the location and the food were OK. Service can make or break an experience and that’s a huge point for improvement at BB.
February 20, 2010 @ 8:43 pm
I concider this to have the best smoked meats on the island. I also love the breakfast menu and great drinks. The topless tini is my favorite martini of all time. Management and service are my fantastic. Very personal and frequent service.
July 20, 2009 @ 2:22 pm
wow-if you like wonderful food-especially smoked meats-this is the place-the smoked Prime Rib is outstanding. The smoked brisket & pulled pork sandwiches are huge & great value. Breakfast-can’t beat especially when there is 2 for 1 deals. The owners are very nice people. Also great place to sit & watch the boats come & go out of the harbor. This was our best dinner find this past visit to Maui–we can’t wait to enjoy dining there several times in 2010.